One of the greatest challenges to the busy parents is developing a loving approach to raising kids.
👨👩👧👧Being a good parent has more to do with our own internal victories than causing specific behaviour from our children.
If these principles throw you a little, that’s probably a good start!!
👫Some times kids do need us as being their parents to stand up and defend them. It adds to their self-esteem. In the process of doing this you are also able to correct common mis-conceptions and set matter straight.
🔹They aren’t dumb, they simply need more time…
👩👦Kids can be slow learners. Some of the greatest minds of all time started late. People like Albert Einstein n Steve Jobs were not A grade students while in school, but everyone can see their tremendous success later in life. It is harsh n wrong for any one to be conclusive of your child, regardless of his presence status n parents should do well to defend this.
🔹They are not stubborn, they are independent…
It is wrong to say someone is stubborn, it seems the speaker of such statement means your child is great at not listening to others n acting stupid. But such connotations writes off the child’s ability to creatively think on his/her own and make decision that is appealing to them. They can’t be stubborn they can be independent.
😌They are not shy,they like to be alone…
Being alone means your child appreciates solitude n wants to enjoy relationship with their own self.Some children deserve to have their space to think and understand what is going around them. Being alone or spending time with themselves doesn’t mean they can’t speak out if they have to.
😴They are not fat they are big..
Being fat is an abusive term.The speaker of such statement could want to mean that your child is not adjusted to a specific size. But we all are made differently and being big could have been taken or inherited from someone in the family. And such decision may not be a choice presented to your child.
😲They aren’t lazy, they like to do what’s right…
Many people think that you have to be jack of all trades n always work to be the ideal person. But success doesn’t mean hard work but also smart work. One has to prioritise where he/she spend their energy on. And it is great if your kid is defended to understand this concept, that even they have to work they have to also be choosy on what they invest their energy in.
😢They don’t cry a lot, they are expressive…
It may be that your child is bullied or has cause to be emotional about every provocation. People could remark that they are too emotional or cry a lot, which could be perceived as weakness. However it is great to stand up for them n let the world know that they are not tearful but rather expressive.
😡They are not arrogant, they like to be special..
There is nothing wrong in wanting to be like a king rather than being abused like a beggar.If your children demand respect n to be treated the right way, no one should mistake this for arrogance n insult them for having self-worth. On occasion like this you can stand up n defend them appropriately.
Neeta Arora
Parenting Facilitator n
Counsellor.